Sir Chippington: top ramen + poached egg + red peppers and tabasco = overwhelming success
Sir Chippington: hot damn this is good
Luke Butt: Gimme some
Sir Chippington: hell naw
Sir Chippington: it's mine
Sir Chippington: all mine
Luke Butt: Fuck
Luke Butt: But I need it
Sir Chippington: no >:I
Luke Butt: My grandmother is dieing in hospital
Sir Chippington: too bad
Luke Butt: She's a veteran of world wars 2, 1 AND 0!
Sir Chippington: I thought all the veterans of ww0 were dead
Sir Chippington: also they didnt exist
Luke Butt: She has over 2,500 confirmed kills and is the best sniper in the entire Eastern world
Sir Chippington: next thing youll tell me is that she's 5th prestige with an infinite kill/death ratio
Luke Butt: And she has a mild case of fatal decapitation
Sir Chippington: welp
Sir Chippington: sucks to be her
Luke Butt: The Doctor's say they need some ramen, peppers, egg, tobasco and a banana as payment for the operation
Luke Butt: Because the NHS doesn't cover such a bizzare virus treatment
Sir Chippington: you can have
Sir Chippington: the banana
Sir Chippington: only the banana though
Luke Butt: I had to give them all my bananas and eggs and peppers
Luke Butt: So now i'm hungry
Luke Butt: Which makes me sad
Luke Butt: Which is exactly why you should give me the food
Sir Chippington: nvm
Sir Chippington: you cant have the banana
Sir Chippington: I just eated it
Luke Butt: Also did I mention she was hired to take the bullet in both JFK and Lincoln's assassinations and successfully faked their deaths.
Sir Chippington: dammit
Sir Chippington: my grandmother was hired to assassinate JFK and Lincoln
Sir Chippington: you bastard you have brought shame to my family
Luke Butt: And she was also the world's first tested human-nuclear-missile
Sir Chippington: fucking
Sir Chippington: rofl
Sir Chippington: oh my god
Sir Chippington: you jerk I was eating
Luke Butt: They abandoned the project because she helped them find issues with target tracking
Luke Butt: The programmers' budget just wasn't high enough to make a suitable clockwork tracking mechanism.
Luke Butt: She was able to solve the issue with a hand grenade, some string and a golden diamond-pearl-ruby she won in a fight with Jesus back in the day
Luke Butt: But they couldn't afford to mass-produce it
Sir Chippington: how is she not dead yet
Luke Butt: She's one tough sonofabitch
Luke Butt: Dude, this is the woman who worked as a helicopter rotor for more than a decade.
Luke Butt: She was assigned to an early black hawk prototype before she got transferred to work as a jet engine booster for the SR-71, which is ironic considering the name
Sir Chippington: hmm
Sir Chippington: how old is she even
Luke Butt: Well she has had more hip replacements than God
Luke Butt: (1)
Luke Butt: Which, by the way, she invented
Luke Butt: She performed that one herself
Sir Chippington: wat
Sir Chippington: well
Sir Chippington: my grandmother invented the letter E
Sir Chippington: also she invented gabe newell and gave birth to valve
Luke Butt: Ripped it out of a nazi with her bare hands after she swallowed a live stick grenade to save her squadren of genetically-engineered squirrel-warriors.
Sir Chippington: squadron*
Sir Chippington: see now you're full of shit
Sir Chippington: cant even spell properly
Luke Butt: Thats why God hasn't had any hip replacements, she is trying to prove who the boss is
Luke Butt: She used to bully him as a kid
Luke Butt: Took his lunch money every day before school
Luke Butt: And she used to mess around with his work projects to annoy him too
Luke Butt: Thats why there is negativity in this world
Luke Butt: She fucked it up for a joke while God was making it